Every year as October rolls around, we get faced with the question from families in church: How do I navigate Halloween?
Maybe you’re like our family and have children who walk through Kmart with their eyes closed or speak uncomfortably loudly about how Halloween is so evil or “the devil’s holiday”! 😂
I’ve literally been the parent cringing as my kids have yelled out about how evil something is while watching someone pay for a Halloween costume. Not much my kids say embarrasses me (kids will be kids!), but that was not my finest parenting moment! 😊
Or perhaps you’re on the other end of the spectrum, wondering whether it’s really a big deal if your kids dress up, go trick-or-treating and come home with a bucket full of lollies.
Wherever you find yourself, Joe and I thought it would be helpful to share how we approach this question as parents and pastors.
Rather than simply saying, “YES, IT’S GREAT, GO FOR IT!” or “IT’S EVIL, STAY AWAY FROM IT!”, we want to share some of the questions we ask ourselves when deciding what is right for our family.
After all, Halloween is just one of many situations our children will face as they grow up. Our goal is to raise children who love the Lord, know His Word and can navigate the world around them with wisdom, grace and confidence in their faith.
So, let’s talk about it!
FIRST THINGS FIRST: WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
As Christians, God’s Word should shape the way we live. Our decisions shouldn’t simply be determined by what is popular, what looks fun or what everyone else is doing. We want to know what God says.
So, this is the first question we ask ourselves when deciding what we should participate in as a family.
When it comes to Halloween, the Bible doesn’t specifically mention the celebration as we know it today. However, it does give us clear principles to guide our decisions.
Deuteronomy 18:10–12 warns God’s people against occult practices and witchcraft, while Ephesians 5:8–11 calls us to walk as children of light and have nothing to do with the works of darkness.
These are principles we should apply to every area of our lives.
Of course, Halloween can look very different from one setting to another. Some activities centre on neighbourhood dress-ups and lollies, while others deliberately celebrate witchcraft, the occult or darkness. Either way, as Christians, we need to be thoughtful about what we’re participating in and carefully and prayerfully determine whether it aligns with God’s Word. Eph. 5:10 says it this way: ‘Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.’
For us, the question isn’t simply, “Is Halloween good or bad?” It’s also, “What am I participating in, what does it celebrate, and what does God’s Word teach us about it?”
When Joe and I reach a conviction from Scripture that affects our children, we sit down and show them how we reached that conclusion.
We don’t want our children simply to think, “I can’t do that because Mum and Dad said no.” We want them to understand, “This is what God’s Word says, this is why it matters, and this is how it applies to my life.”
We’re not just raising children who follow our rules. We’re raising children who develop convictions from God’s Word.
That’s a lesson they’ll need long after Halloween is over!
WHAT ARE WE ACTUALLY PARTICIPATING IN?
To answer the first question well, it helps to understand what we’re looking at. What is the history behind the celebration, and what does it represent today?
Halloween has a complex history. The name comes from All Hallows’ Eve, the evening before All Saints’ Day, a Christian observance. However, Halloween is also associated with older Celtic seasonal traditions, particularly Samhain, which was connected with beliefs about spirits and the supernatural.
Over time, various Christian observances and local customs became intertwined. Today, Halloween ranges from neighbourhood dress-ups and trick-or-treating to activities that deliberately celebrate horror, witchcraft and the occult – you only have to take a walk through Spotlight or Kmart with all the witches’ costumes and ghost dress-ups to see some of the darker elements of Halloween at play in the ‘celebration’ as we know it today. Historians debate exactly how some modern customs developed, so it’s important to distinguish between what we know about its history and what people participate in today.
We’d encourage every parent to take the time to understand what they’re saying yes or no to, rather than simply accepting what culture tells us about a celebration.
At first glance, dressing up and collecting free lollies might sound like a great idea. But we need to ask whether there is more to consider and whether the activities we choose align with the Word of God.
We can’t make wise decisions about something we haven’t taken the time to understand.
HOW DO WE BRING OUR CHILDREN ALONG ON THE JOURNEY?
This is really important to Joe and me as parents and a question, we’ll ask ourselves for most convictions we hold as a family.
We’re not just raising children who follow our rules. We’re endeavouring to raise children who develop convictions from God’s Word. We’re trying to teach them HOW to think and come to biblical conclusions for their lives that honour God, not just WHAT to think. Our goal is to help our children form biblical convictions so that when they’re faced with these decisions themselves, they understand why they believe what they believe.
For many kids, simply hearing, “No, we’re not participating in Halloween because we love Jesus,” doesn’t help them navigate it when their friends ask if they’re going trick-or-treating and doesn’t help them develop convictions on why something is right or wrong.
So, when something like Halloween comes up, we walk our children through the process.
What this looks like for us is:
We sit down as a family.
We explain what we’ve learnt after doing our research.
We open the Bible and look at God’s Word together around the topic or principles laid out.
We ask the kids questions about what they think the Word of God is telling them.
Things like, ‘Based on what we’ve learnt and what God’s Word says, what do you think?’ ‘Is this something we should participate in as a family? Why or why not?’ ‘Because we love God and want to honour Him with our lives, how do you think we should approach this?’
Then Joe and I clearly explain what conclusion we feel the Word of God is leading us to as a family, and we lead our family in that decision.
For Joe and me, after going through this exercise, we have decided that Halloween isn’t something we want our family participating in because of its associations with witchcraft and darkness. We have endeavoured to take our kids on the journey of how we have reached this conclusion – with the goal of teaching them how to think biblically, not simply what to think.
For those children who find Halloween scary (a few of our kids have fallen into this box… walking through Looksharp with their eyes closed, being led by their big sister 😊), we’ve also used Halloween as an opportunity to teach them that, as Christians, we don’t need to live in fear of the devil or the things of darkness. We serve a victorious Saviour!
Colossians 1:13 reminds us that God has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of His beloved Son.
Our confidence is in Jesus. We don’t need to panic at every spooky decoration, but neither should we become so casual about spiritual things that we stop exercising discernment.
If your family chooses not to participate in Halloween, take the time to explain why. If your family participates in certain neighbourhood activities, be intentional about what you’re comfortable with and where you draw the line.
Our goal isn’t to make Halloween the centre of our children’s attention. It’s to make Jesus the centre of their lives.
HOW DO WE APPROACH THOSE WITH DIFFERENT BELIFS TO US?
I’m sure we’d all agree as parents that this ‘fun’ challenge of raising children with unwavering convictions from God’s Word, while still teaching them to approach others with a different point of view with love, is no easy task.
Part of our discussion with our kids usually includes teaching them how to approach those with differing views from our family. Understanding that many families may not all approach every aspect of Halloween in exactly the same way, but either way, our decisions should be guided by God’s Word rather than cultural pressure, and when it comes to discussions, our conversations always need to flow from a place of love, not judgement.
And we want our children to learn that they can stand firm in their convictions without being unkind towards others.
THE BIGGER PICTURE
Parents, Halloween is just one example of the many decisions we’ll need to help our children navigate as they grow up. There will always be things in our culture that look appealing, things their friends are doing, and moments when following Jesus means choosing a different path to their friends.
Our responsibility isn’t simply to tell our children what they can and can’t do. It’s to teach them to love God, know His Word and develop convictions that will stand firm long after they leave our homes.
So, parents, don’t feel pressured to follow the crowd, and don’t let fear make your decisions for you. Take time to pray, open God’s Word and be intentional about the convictions you’re building in your home.
We aren’t called to raise children who simply fit into the world around them. We’re called to raise children who follow Jesus wholeheartedly, stand firm in His truth and carry His love wherever they go.
Let’s be intentional about the faith we’re building in our homes, one conversation, one decision at a time.
Lots of love,
Racquel and Joe