The Best Christmas Jokes

Who doesn’t LOVE a good Christmas joke?! We’ve found some of the best and put them all below. Whether you’re creating your own Christmas Crackers or just needing a hearty laugh during the jolly season – we’ve got you covered! 

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

What is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt elf!

What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve! 

What says Oh Oh Oh?
Santa walking backwards!

What’s Santa’s favourite type of music?
Wrap!

What’s a snowman’s favourite Mexican food?
Brrrrrr-itos!

What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.

How does an elf get to Santa’s workshop?
By icicle!

What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!

Why is Santa so good at karate?
Because he has a black belt!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots??

What kind of cars do elves like to drive?
A Toy-ota!

What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? 
Elf-is Presley!

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
They have too many needles!

Who is Santa’s least favourite reindeer?
Rude-olph!

What do hungry snowmen put on their burgers?
Chilly sauce!

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
A pineapple!

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!

What do snowmen usually wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

What is a Christmas tree’s favourite candy?
Orna-mints!

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house!

Why did the turkey join the rock band?
Because it had drumsticks!

Where would you find snowmen dancing?
At a snowball!

Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?
Star-bucks!

What is the most popular carol in the Desert? 
Camel ye Faithful!

What never eats at Christmas time?
The turkey – it’s usually stuffed!

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes!

What do sheep say at Christmas?
A Merry Christmas to Ewe!

What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
Lighten up!

Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
Dancer!

What do the elves cook with in the kitchen?
U-tinsels!

What goes Santa spend his wages on? 
Jingle Bills!

Why is a broken drum the best Christmas present?
You can’t beat it!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!

What was Santa’s favourite subject in school?
Chemis-tree!

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WE LOVE CHRISTMAS! Check out our best Christmas jokes, colouring sheets, word finds, Christmas movie lists and more! ​See more